novemberENDS

Bleh.

2005-10-18T15:34:00.000-04:00

Ehhhhhh, I'm no longer a fan. I mean, school was fun and all while the "I can make this interesting" attitude was there, but I mean - I keep getting called down to the office. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with playing football in the hallways or playing catch with rubber balls off the balcony. Nobody's ever taken a bouncy ball the the face and died, and if they have - I'm sorry that I'm not being sensitive to your needs, but then again... you couldn't really be reading this, could you? You'd be dead, right?

Been workin' a lot recently, but people keep coming in to visit - and that makes it suck alot less. Yesterday, there was this guy that I thought was a friend of mine (at least he looked like it from behind), so I ran up and you know - gave him a nice butt grab. Well, it turns out that it wasn't my friend at all - and the guy just like turned around and looked at me weird. Then, for the rest of the time he was in the store - he'd look at me real weird. I think he took the whole butt grab thing the wrong way.

I did have a miracle happen tho, I lost my keys that had my two computer jump drive deals on it. And since I had left it in computer class, I thought somebody fiended it - but today Michael walked up to me and hooked me back up. I could've washed his feet for him or something. Sadly, I do have to go back into the sweat shop from 5 to 9, but I'm free after and I so have tomorrow off and I definitely want to do something.

CS Deal

2005-10-12T22:56:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so I have been getting into C.S. Lewis so freaking hardcore recently. The man was a genius and he's so relevant that it's mind blowing. I can't get my mind off of the basic idea behind this quote:

"...some way of embracing both alternatives can always be found; that mere development of adjustment or refinement will somehow turn evil into good without our being called on for a final and total rejection of anything we should like to retain. This belief I take to be a disastrous error."

I've been thinking about that all day now, and I've come to a few realizations about how I've been conducting the relationships that I have in my life. If I'm to fully pursue growth in a positive direction - I've really got to examine myself and what I'm doing to be sure that the path I'm on is the one in which I try to hold onto nothing of myself, give up my rights and let me be taken for the ride. Much like an old man says, "I have my rights just as you do, and I'm here only to do what's rightfully allowed to me." I was that way too, except I just didn't want to give up control of my life - any aspect of it, actually. Music, relationships, school, family, etc. And I still had the audacity to wonder why things kept going wrong. The honest truth is that I have no conception of what role I play in my life, others lives or in anything for that matter. The only way to truly act on my faith is to give up trying to take the lead and just get in the backseat to God.

Hammer and Sickle

2005-10-10T15:07:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so school is officially just "one of them things..." Not too bad, definatley not too good - but I'll survive.

On the hunt for a car, and I'm going to look at like a late 80's Honda Accord w/ 200,000+ miles on it, but hey - it's only like $500.

I need your opinions on a splash page for my band's site; so just comment with your feedback.

SPLASH 1 // SPLASH 2

I'll hook ya up with a real post later - this one's just a quickie...

Homekizzle

2005-10-09T11:07:00.000-04:00

I think I just may be tired enough to sleep through.... well, I don't really have an analogy - I'm just tired. Homecoming was a really good time; Drew, Kaela and Bobbi were awesome and I had a ton of fun. And, I was worried that - you know, I couldn't dance at all. Well, Drew took care of that. I mean, he's just so extroverted and energetic and the boy had no fear of dancing. Kaela too, she was right there with him. It took me a bit to warm up to it, but then it was awesome - and I'm sure I looked retarded, but I don't care. Dinner was real fun - thank you Tim for hooking me up with the tickets that I forgot and thank you Kaela for putting up with my driving, which was questionable at best a few times.

After HC, we went to Houndogs because that's what we had, you know, planned a few days ago. Well, we got there, sat down, ordered waters and then realized that none of us were hungry at all - so we just looked around, and left to go get smoothies at some Japanese place. They weren't bad, just a little different... Plus, Drew almost hit a curb and Kaela almost went into cardiac arrest because she was laughing at him. Then Drew had to be home, so he dropped Kaela and me back off at the car. Well that was at like 12:30 and I had a curfew of 4 am, so I didn't really want to go home right away. So, we drove around for like 2 hours talking about different aspects of life, and it was a real solid time. Then I started to realize that I couldn't exactly keep my eyes open very well, so I dropped Kaela off at home and then met up with Colin and Micah at Steak and Shake and we chilled and talked for a while. Overall, the night was a real real good time - and I mean, I just hope everyone else had as good time as well.

Well, with all that being said - I have to go get ready for work, and then head to CT tonight.

Shadows of What Will Never Last

2005-10-08T11:50:00.000-04:00

Homecoming day. I must say, I'm rather excited, but it is a busy day.

Last night was JAWSOME with the band guys; we got our practice on for a solid 4 or 5 hours. Micah got his production on with our demos that we recorded, and our Purevolume and MySpace sites will be up soon. Granted the recordings are rough, made in Colin's basement over a crappy 2 channel USB input device. But, we'll get some better stuff soon.

We also got our design on and came down with a theme/identity for the band - it's gonna be mad hhhhard. Keep praying for us to keep this all Christ centered and I think we'll do well.

Emo day...

2005-10-06T15:33:00.000-04:00

"This is how I feel, my God, from what's been dealt,
The flies that flutter flight tonight.
Is it love that I'm feeling or is this hate the same?
The emotion's enough to kill the sane..."
[Coheed]

Eeek. That's how I feel. That's creepy.

Not having a good day - but last night was fun, love you guys.
Today is dubbed; EMO DAY.

I suppose if you'd like to know, ask me about it sometime.

I don't need no ed-jew-ma-catin

2005-10-05T13:16:00.000-04:00

Ya know, I've realized that I have these little weird quirky things that I always do and I just started to notice them this morning. I mean, right before I mouthwash - I always toast myself in the bathroom mirror, I have names for my shoes, when I eat dinner; it's always side dishes first and then the main dish and my food is soooo not allowed to touch the other stuff. Also, I refuse to write with a pen if the clip is broken off of it - it just ruins the pen (or pencil, I guess...). Also, if there's ever a little game in one of those ad banners on a website - I can't not play the game, but that does cause stupid pop-ups... And I just realized that that was the biggest waste of a paragraph ever...

Anywho, school wasn't bad today - I got my conversation on with some folks and it was fun and sitting with the juniors at lunch today (no off campus today, boooo) was actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I think I figured out that if I have a more positive outlook on things - they won't suck near as bad. So, if I'm every grumpy or in a bad mood or whatever, lay the smackdown on me and make me change my attitude. For example, I had to teach Mrs. Bailey's class today - and I was pissed. I mean, of course that would suck - but I just had a lot of fun with it and she got a little pissed but it all worked out ok.

I hate learning lessons that involve me and school, I mean - who learns from school?

I'm only chasing safety...

2005-10-04T22:00:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday. I wonder if there's anything special about Tuesdays. Not too bad of a day today. School wasn't too bad - Spanish was a killer, but when isn't it. The day got better as it went on, except for lunch. Work called me and I answered it because, you know - it's work and I'm at lunch. Well, Mr. Lee decided that he's gonna sprint across the lunchroom to commandeer my phone. Needless to say, he hung up on my boss and I was not feeling it - and I have to serve a Wednesday School (Westerville's equivalent of a Saturday School), but I fully intend on talking my way out of that one. But web class was a massive amount of fun today, and it definitely gets me through my days. I mean, I love you guys and I don't think Bailey will ever be the same after we're all done with her.

Work was really slow and I got my chat on with my co-workers, and it was a good change from the usual. And, the special edition of They're Only Chasing Safety came out today and I snagged a copy. I can't wait to watch 2 whole freakin' hours of Underoath DVD goodness. And homecoming is very soon - this Saturday to be exact, and I'm real excited. So, overall - thank you God for the break from the usual nonsense and for a restful day.

Not a bad day off

2005-10-04T00:07:00.000-04:00

Well, I've realized that on a day off from work - I actually have to find something for myself to do; that's a real weird concept. Although, I did get my nap on - which definitely was a good change.

I had some real solid conversation deals on tonight; thank you much Koep, Jess and Kaela for listening to me complain. And sorry I ran away randomly from our conversation Kaela, but Colin out of nowhere knocked on my door and we got our conversation on for a few hours. I really love that boy, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him (I'm not gay, I'm talking about music if it works out...). It'll be mad fun. And I finally got my stuff back for school, so that means I actually have to do my work now.

Still in the hunt for a car - keep prayin' for it.
Thank you all you CT people for making me feel so welcome, I love you guys already.

EMO JOKE TIME:

Q: How many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. 1 to change the bulb and drop the old one and 99 to cut themselves with the pieces.

Hey, at least the pizza was good...

2005-10-03T13:57:00.000-04:00

You know, there's nothing quite like an evening of exact opposites. Last night was real fun; like mad fun - a superhero fun, if you will. Cross Trainers was tight and mad challenging, and Josh did a BALLER job on drums last night; that kid's mad tight. And he's the only reason why I don't commit suicide each and every day in Spanish class. But then the night got sooooo not extreme. Got some calls from Linworth people that just found out that I had decided to change churches. That was sooooo not a time. I mean, nobody asked anything really - they just thought it was a rebuking time, and they didn't know what happened. Gossip is literally the worst damn thing ever created by our sinful nature. I hadn't even gotten a chance to talk to the guys in my small group, and people were (I assume...) coming to their own conclusions about me and basically just spreading whatever they could to whoever they could. I'm so disappointed, I can't put it into words. I thought people would have more respect then this, or at least if they heard other people talking about it to remind them that gossip is wrong and that they need to choose a new subject. But, thank God that Jess Andres was a voice of reason and helped raise my spirits last night.

Then Shayne, Emily, Emily's sister, J-Lo, TJ, Jess and I went to Houndogs for the best pizza ever, and we got our solid conversation on. Thanks guys for being non-stupid last night and not complaining about my massive level of drama. Plus, all of us rode in Emily's van - and that was hhhhard.

So, it's just a talk to people and attempt to clean up some of the crap that was thrown into this situation. Yeah, so uhhhh.... wish me mad luck.

You smiled in your sleep...

2005-10-02T18:28:00.000-04:00

You ever get one of those times in your life where there's a band that just seems to write everything that you happen to be going through? Well that's how it's been for me and SILVERSTEIN lately. I just can't stop listening to them.

Work was long and stupid today, but breakfast with my coworkers was alot of fun, even though it was caused by a completly unessiscary staff meeting at 9am. I thank you guys for making work suck just a little bit less.

Heading out for CT, and I'm really looking forward to it. I can't wait to get adjusted and really make some new friends in this place. I'm real excited.

Glory be to God.

The man of 1,000 excuses

2005-10-02T00:05:00.000-04:00

Man, practice today and yesterday was intense. We're attempting to record ourselves, not so others can hear or anything like that, but so we can have demos to practice with. Recording is one of the most aggravating things in the world, but we did cover some good ground. And we discovered how well Sean can sing, and that was definitely unexpected. So, now I'm just real excited - and I mean, I was afraid for a while. I wasn't really sure that we were going to work out as a band, but I've definitely gotten some positive reinforcement in the last few days.

Just makes me glad that my probable alternative to college is out there. It runs in my family that everyone is an engineer, you know that math related, desk job. That's just not me. I mean, that's all I wanted to do growing up thru 9th grade, and then things just changed. I don't know why, they just did. I don't want to lead the normal life, I don't want the normal job, I don't want the normal family... These last few months have really shaken up everything that I thought I was about. I've never thought so much about what to do when I grow up as I do right now. Honestly, it scares me; it scares me a lot. It's just real hard to give something like that up to God, I want to control that - I really do. But that's why my future's been freaking me out - because I'm trying to control it, and I'm screwing it up. I'm not gonna lie, I want to play music for the rest of my life. I just know that that may not be the most realistic expectation and that scares me. Music is my life; music is who I am - and I don't know how to be anything else.

I just feel like these lyrics really say what I'm feeling:

"All your hopes and dreams,
washing away silently.
Forget everything you taught me,
when I looked up to you...

Fall to your knees,
and give up your aspirations.
Falling to your knees

So how can you expect
me to just close my eyes
and forget your mistakes?
Defending you is getting
harder everyday, day...

I'm breaking down.
The ending's near,
the final call to make it through.
You'll choose,
try to relate, forget everything
you taught me
when I looked up to you...

I'll look inside myself for strength,
like a million times before...
You'll never let it in because,
I know you said
I know you said
I know, I know, I know, I know...

Fall, how can you let it go?
How can you be this way?
I'll never forget,
here I come from, where I've been...
I'll never become you..."

[SILVERSTEIN - Defend You]

Fall Out Hhhhhard

2005-09-29T23:36:00.000-04:00

Holy crap, what a show. Well, the Fall Out Boy show tonight was honestly in my top 3 concerts of all time; here they are (in no particular order) - Yellowcard at Warped Tour 2 years ago, Kids in the Way at Newport like 2.5 years ago and then tonight. It was amazing and honestly gave me something to shoot for as far as our band goes. I mean, I don't want to sound like them or anything, but that energy and magnetism is addictive. They have an amazing stage presence.

Thank you much Bobbi for talking me into going, it was honestly amazing.

And, now that my ears are ringing - I'm gonna go read some Bibleo and hit the sack.

Have a pleasant eve, and this post would been longer - but I'm effing cashed.

I'm Dance, Dance-ing

2005-09-29T13:21:00.000-04:00

Man, for being 17 and living with my parents - money is like being stupid. I mean, I've seriously gotta find a car soon becuase I hate being driven around, and I miss the freedom of just being able to leave and do what I want, when I want. Maybe God's trying to get me to realize that I need to spend some more time at home. I don't know.

At least Fall Out Boy is tonight... that should really help take my mind off of things. They weren't quite up to my standards at this summer's Warped Tour, but I'm excited that they'll do better this time around.

Anywho, I'm gonna go get some erronds done with mi madre, and I'll see ya after the concerto.

Fraggggg

2005-09-28T23:39:00.000-04:00

What a day.

Got picked up from school by Shayne.
Chilled with him all effing day.
Took a nap on his couch.

Met Matt Hamparian and the band at Steak n Shizzle.

Back home now.

Love talking in fragments.

Bye.

A battle of epic dealness...

2005-09-27T23:14:00.000-04:00

Ugh. I think that sums it up; ugh (the grunt kind, you know - when your tired).

Oh, never ever ever try to replace the lights on a 98 Cadillac Catera. I love my brother, but by the end of that procedure - I wanted to sever his cranium.

Today was just "one of them days." This lovely morning, when I woke up I looked outside and saw the sun and clouds and was just encouraged that no matter what may have happened - the sun comes back up the next day. Then my car wouldn't start. Suck. So, I called my Grandma and had her hook me up. It was actually incredibly hhhhhard, we talked and I just got completely reminded why I loved her so much. If she wasn't uhhhh related and like 45 years older then me, I would so marry her. (I know, that's weird - shut up.)

So I did manage to get to school - and then I realized that I had locked my phone's keypad and couldn't remember the password. So I felt stupid, until I started whining verbally and someone was like its the last 4 digits of your phone number moron. Crap. I struck out on that one.

But the rest of the day went rather well, including Shayne giving me the hook up about everything that has to do w/ females (I question where he got the information... :p) - but I just need some sleep and some time for God to do some work.

Actually, I'm in the middle of an INCREDIBLY hhhhard conversation with one Ms. Emily Young. I had no idea the sheer magnitude of the hardness. It's up there, with the friggin' best dude - the friggin best.

As my words unfold on this page...

2005-09-26T23:53:00.000-04:00

You know, I realized how big of an outlet that this was for me to express my feelings and the nonsense that I deal with and I decided to pick this thing back up. So much has been going on recently that I can't even explain it. So basically, this is my super long, emo post - don't mind that por favor.

Basically, making the decision to leave Linworth and make the conversion to Heritage has come at a great, great cost to me. I mean, Linworth was my family; they were my brothers and sisters. And the betrayal/superficiality that I felt there has been so confusing and painful that at first I thought it was just all nonsense from the devil - but well, not so much. I mean, I stuck around for months and nothing at all changed, it just felt like things were continuing to fall downhill. My sense of community was completely shattered - and I felt let down. I didn't realize how huge opportunities for spiritual growth are in my life. I believe that the only catalyst that exists is me being in a position that I can't handle; a situation where I realize my inadequacies and the only way that I can be complete is if god fills up those holes with himself. And that, among other things, was missing from my life at Linworth.

Going to my first CT last night was very very bittersweet. I really, really want to thank all of you that went out of your way to make me feel comfortable and to talk to me on Sunday, it really meant more then you could ever know. I forgot how amazing David Root was as a worship leader; I must say that that man the complete and udder definition of hhhharrrd. But it also hit me that it was my new start, but not just a new start - it was the final chapter of my life story that was written at Linworth. I mean, I'm real excited to go to a youth group with more people from my school and I love seeing my old Heritage favorites that I've known forever, but that only consolidates the pain so much. But there is still proof that God is working through me and whatever church that I may be at and that is the new guy’s small group. After our second consecutive week chilling at Hoover after CT; J-Lo, TJ, Sean, Colin, Shayne and I formed a small group after 2.5 amazing hours of just a complete outpouring of pain and things that had been on all of our chests. You are truly an amazing group of guys.

Later that night, it was further reinforced to me that this life is not a battle that is of this world, it is something much, much more. Something much greater then you or I. Something so infinitely perfect yet can be so influenced by evil that it hurts. After a friend of mine went through some hardcore spiritual battle last night, I drove home with a lot on my mind. As I got home, I started walking towards my front door, just thinking that all the pressure that I'm feeling is just something that I can deal with in the morning. But when I opened my door, there was just something keeping me from crossing the threshold; something obviously spiritual. God just hit me with the realization that this battle was not over and that this was not something that could be put off. I fell to my knees and just began weeping on my doorstep with the last few months pressures just rolling over me. The pain was real, very real. I just couldn't go on for another minute on my own strength; my fallen, weak, pitiful body finally broke and could handle no more. I remained on my knees sobbing in the rain for a good 45 minutes trying to regain my grip on everything - and it hit me that I alone couldn't regain my grip. The noise woke up my mom and she walked out and told me that it wasn't proper for me to be doing what I was doing in the parking lot. But this was so much past a simple obedience thing that nothing could have stopped me. Eventually I managed to get up and ask my brother to drive me back to Heritage where I could meet up with Micah and Matt H. I love them so much; they reaffirmed to me the fact that I was shown/put through this for a reason - that there was a purpose so much bigger then you or I, something that I couldn't even fathom. Thank god that these guys took care of me, and just talked to me and got pizza with me at 4 am.

It's been a very very painful lesson that I know I'm not through learning, but it's a lesson that needs to be taught. And sorry to anyone if I was short with you today, but I got home so emotionally and physically drained at 5 am and had to be at school by 8; so I was just not feeling it today. But I have already began to realize that there are so many naive people in this world, they'll never experience the love, joy or grace that I have and I have so much pity for them. It really makes me want to reach them.

Yay. Boo.

2005-08-18T02:09:00.000-04:00

Well, its definitely like 2 am and I can't sleep. This sucks, but I mean I guess I could just go find a brick and hit myself over the head or a truck could run me down or something. You know, all that pleasant stuff.

Gonna buy my piece of crap car today. I only am gonna spend like $500 because all I need is a car that will last me until November getting me to school and work. I've decided that once I turn 18 (thus November the 15th) then I'll actually spend money on a real car to drive, but for now - having a rust bucket will be a lot of fun.

I need sleep tactics, I mean I'm watching PBS and I tried reading and it just wasn't helping. And since the iPod is no longer in my possession - I can't music myself to sleep. Oh well - I'll just read some more Harry Potter. And yes, I love Harry Potter, I am so not ashamed to admit it - there's just not a dull moment in those books...

Small World

2005-08-12T11:41:00.000-04:00

I found this random picture of
BLINDSIDE and he's wearing a
Westerville Parks & Rec Shirt!!!

STAPH

2005-08-11T21:38:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's been sooo long.

Few things:

1. Yes, I just got out of the hospital. I'm OK. I had a staph infection after I had some minor leg surgery deal. And I got this crazy fever and dizzyness and swelling and pussing leg crazy nonsense. So I went to ER and was admitted for 3 or 4 days, but I'm recovering at home now.

2. I forgot and I'm still tired - so I'll have to hit this up some time later...

Matthew 5:29

2005-07-27T11:52:00.000-04:00

It always seems like there's this impossible place that I must pass in order to fully commit myself to God. I must give up my entire agenda, my feelings, my hopes, my dreams, my selfish wants, my foolish ambitions, my dumb outlook - EVERYTHING. This seems like an almost impossible task to do. I can confess with my mouth that I no longer want to be in control of my actions and thoughts, but that's not enough. I still cling on to my own agenda in spite of whatever I said. There's power in words, thus I confessed my feelings - but there must be more. There must be a complete change of heart and a complete willingness to be transparent and broken before God. I need him to take away my sinful nature and my stupid steps that I take to make myself feel better. I need to become barren before God so that he may, in essence, destroy me (the old me) and completely rebuild me in his image. And I don't know if I can do this - I can say it all I want, but there's still the evil inside of me that I choose to give into, which causes me to sin. Actually, it doesn't really cause me to sin - I choose to give in to it, thus just taking advantage of it. Evil doesn't cause me to sin; I cause me to sin. ²⁹If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Matthew 5:29 [NIV] I must be willing to sacrifice my worthless shameful body - to be completely committed to Christ.

Prayers would be encouraged and greatly appreciated so that I may figure this out.

Difficult Post

2005-07-24T07:50:00.000-04:00

Heya guys,

This is a more different type of post. I just got back from a one week retreat in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and I have some things to say/share. Ummm, this post will be extremely revealing and many of you will be shocked at what I have to say so, there is only one thing I ask of you - please read this post out before casting judgments or making any assumptions about anything.

Through out these last oh 9, or so; months of my life I believe that I had a purpose for which I wasn't living. I had signs; my health going down the tubes, the problems I had with my family, and even loosing/hurting my closest friendships, while at the same time realizing that many of my other friendships were purely superficial and based on nothing tangible. Of course, there were a few friends that I could tell exactly what I was thinking, but it never seemed enough. (BTW, those friends that I could have those conversations w/ and tell everything that I was thinking - thank you very much and I love you.) Everything was so without meaning for a while - so I decided that I'm gonna regularly get wasted with my friends, in spite of my health problems. And that was cool for a while, but it just wasn't doing it - so that's when the weed began and that lasted for a while, but I still kept coming back to the same place; it's all for nothing. Friendships based on how much you can drink or who can get you pot for the cheapest. It was just so depressing and fake that I became disgusted with my stupid lifestyle.

Then came my two of my best friends, Colin and Shayne. They sat me down one night and just told me how much me making the decisions that I was making was killing them. They couldn't stand to watch me go down the retarded path that I was taking, and really really wanted me to change. And that made me realize that this life wasn't all about me having to feel accepted by others through smoking or drinking or doing random acts of retardedness (which are still fun, I may add); it was about something much more. And, because of that - I made a decision; I dedicated my life to Jesus Christ.

That night it just all became so clear to me; I was living my entire life without a purpose. I was just floating through work, floating through school, floating through everything. And that's why it became so meaningless. So basically, my life has a full on purpose now - and I'm happier (truly happy) then I've ever been in my life.

Now, for a few clarifications:
1. I'm not going to go around quoting bible verses to you.
2. I'm not going to try to force you to convert or do any of that "YOU WILL BE DAMNED FOREVER!" nonsense.
3. I'm never gonna have that uptight "I'm so much better/holier then you." attitude, that's just stupid.
4. I'm always open for questions.
5. I will never stop considering myself you friend just because I choose to be a Christian - it's not about that. (and no, being a Christian isn't about going to FCA or Young Life on Thursday and then getting wasted on Friday)

So guys, I only posted this to try to get some feelings off of my chest - not to try to shock anyone or convert anyone. I just ask that you don't judge me based on this post alone and get to know the new me. I know that this is going to be a very unpopular decision as far as my school friends go - but I'm willing to take that risk. Feel free to say anything back that you'd like - I'd love some feedback.

Thank you all,
Jonathan

SLow slow slow

2005-07-14T07:05:00.000-04:00

Augh, these last few days are going by so incredibly slow - it's ridiculous. I'm headed of to South Carolina for my fourth time in four years on Friday and it just can't come quick enough. Like seriously, I'm dying over here. But the time going by so slow has meant that I've listened to like a billion cd's all the way through. Mostly Underoath, Senses Fail, all 3 of the Jimmy Eat World CD's, MAE, Muse, like everything in my iPod.

Also, there are these huge peanut butter white chocolate macadamia nut cookies on the table, but they're my Mom's to bring to some retirement party for a lady at her work. WHAT THE HECK?! I haven't been restricted from cookies since I was like 4. This is no dice, no dice at all. But today is payday, which always brings me a little bit of hard, earned (but rather superficial) happiness. And, as it turns out, my mother had a gift certificate to Great Clips left over from Mother's Day - so I got my hair cut for rather cheap, but I also will have to rethink future Mother's Day gifts...

Oh well, only 1 day 14 hours 55 minutes 'till I leave.

I DONT HAVE A CAMERA FOR THIS YEAR! What the nonsense?

Daily Grind = BLOWS

2005-07-08T22:51:00.000-04:00

No posts in like forever. And here's why... it's called a 64 hour payperiod. If I'm not workin' it - I'm sleeping off the work blues. Went through a sobriety check point after work today - that was a different experience, and yes - I was sober.

But hey, I can't complain about working because I need the cash so I can purchase my future transportation. Prolly gonna be some late 80's piece of crap, but hey - that's fine with me.

I don't usually do this - but if you read this and can give haircuts, I am in desperate need of one and I don't have expendable funds (that means I'm poor and I need a free haircut) and you can/know someone who can - please tell me. I'll be more then willing to uhhhhh lift heavy objects for you or possible do some cooking or computer related crap.

Thank yas.

That's how I roll...

2005-06-25T19:02:00.000-04:00

Here it is... The Robot - the chubbly white guy style.

SUCKFEST

2005-06-22T14:56:00.000-04:00

AHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, now that I'm done w/ that. I HATE FLASH.

I spent 5 hours trying to make this, and this is still the BETA version.
I put one song in there and wanted to shoot myself afterwords - so more will come later.

mp3 Player

Sweet Symbolage

2005-06-20T22:35:00.000-04:00

Wow, so it was definitely a ummmm basic summer day. I mean, it was mild to moderately exciting.

Woke up early - that sucked.
Got on AIM - that didn't suck that much.
Called Shane - non suckage.
Went to Subway - super not suckage.
Tim met up w/ us at Subway - mass unsuckage.
Shane and I walked around Polaris - negative 100x the suck b/c we saw Micah and Koleslaw.
Had to work (included staying late) - AHHHH 1,000,000,000 suck

I had a weird experience today. My parents commented on my music. I mean, they usually just say that they're not into that kinda stuff, but it was different today. I was listening to underØATH (you like how i used the sweet symbol) and they said that it was like horrible horrible music. I would assume they judged it based on the screaming - what an unfair judgement. underØATH deserveses a retrial. Oh well, my parents are old.

Ahhhhh, 2 more tidbits:
~Rumors of a new Yellowcard album on the 28th. THIS IS MASS OWNAGE!
~Can you say Story of the Year and Anberlin at Newport on July 3rd?! I can't contain myself.

Warped Ownage

2005-06-19T19:40:00.000-04:00

Oh man, did Warped Tour own me.

It was unbelieveable. I mean, Underoath and Fall Out Boy stole the show in my opinion - but it was awesome seeing Emery and Senses Fail there.

And I feel bad for everyone that got sun burnt - I personally don't get sunburned; I can even say that I've never even had a sunburn in my life.

Bought like 6 shirts - I feel like a woman.

Workin' on a Friday...

2005-06-10T17:00:00.000-04:00

AHHHHH, it's been a semi-eternity since I posted last.

The Dave Matthews Band Concert was crazy! What a way to top of a year... kinda wish I still had some more time w/ my friends from school. The concert gave me some stuff to think about - wish I could do it w/ my friends. Oh well, that's what next year is for.

Workin' like it's my job tonight and then Sabrina's party tomorrow, which - from what I've heard, is gonna be really sweet.

Wrote a new bass line for one of my band's songs - it's all coming together pretty well now. Went bowling last night, and ummmm definitely scored a 37 and then went to Wendy's. But their dining room was closed so we all pimped it in the parking lot with the Jimmy Eat World cranked. I love summer.

Well I get to go shower to get ready for work...

These Lights

2005-06-02T22:12:00.000-04:00

Ok, so now it's time for a real post - a quality post, if you will.

There's so much going on right now, like especially with work. I'm working about 32 hours each week now, until we can hire at least one of the two guys we lost at work. Monday is my first day off in 2.5 weeks. That's a lot - a mad lot. Plus we had 2 no call/no shows tonight, so we were definitely understaffed. Oh schwell....

As far as school goes, wow actually I don't know. I don't want this year to end, but I guess I don't really mind if it does. So, technically - I guess I'm indifferent. To be honest, the end of the year really snuck up on me - I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I wasn't really paying attention and then BAM, I realized that I only have 1 real day of Junior Year left. Wow, I just grasped that - just now. I remember being a freshman at South, like it was yesterday. I remember bumming rides home from Lance every Sunday in his jeep. I remember how sweet it was Sophomore year to be riding around in Justin's Reliant K. I remember Warped Tour last summer when I met Shayne for the first time, now it seems like I've known him forever. Oh my god, what can change in a year. Now I'm all in a sentimental mood. I really don't want Adam and Derek to move away, we've become really good friends this year - and nobody can quite spice up a boring night like them. Jeremy coming over on Monday just made me realize - my childhood is over, over. No more playing in the creek w/ him, Travis & Jason. No more riding bikes to the park with Joe (who's actually over in Iraq right now, this is honestly blowing my mind). No more playing Super Nintendo with Bo. None of that. Now it's all about college, it's all about driving, it's all about having a job. Why is that? I would love to go hang out by the creek with my friends, I would love to ride a bike with you.

I've never quite had a revelation while posting a blog before, but I believe that it's happening. I'm not a little kid anymore - not even close. I miss the innocence that I had when I was in elementary school. I miss staring up and seeing 8th and 9th graders and gasping at how big they are. I miss a more basic life - I miss being carefree. I miss going to school for the sole purpose of playing Army with K-NEX at recess. Now it's all about National Honor Society, History finals and GPA's. I miss the other life.

I was gonna post some stuff about my day, but it just doesn't seem appropriate any longer.

Memorial Day Weekend

2005-05-31T14:00:00.000-04:00

Holy crap. It's been over a week since the last post, and I didn't even realize it...

Labor day weekend wasn't bad, nothing special tho. Worked on Friday Night, worked Saturday afternoon but went to Julz's graduation party that night and went tray drifting in Shanye's new ferrari (actually an 84 sable, but honestly - who can tell the difference?). Worked on Sunday but then after Linworth we played speedball at night and I got to meet some really really awesome dudes from the Ukrane. He was crazy, he cought this field mouse and chased James around with it. It truely was a quality time. Didn't work monday but I had the worst sick to my stomach feeling EVER, but Jeremy did come over and talk for like 2.5 hours. It was awesome catching up with the kid and I can't wait to go to his grad party this Sunday, if work allows.

Stayed home today because of the lingering vomity feeling. Woke up at 1pm. All riiiiiight.

Dodgebizzle Vol. 2

2005-05-23T21:56:00.000-04:00

Well, here was the team... we got spanked in the first game we played - and it may have only lasted a minute and thirty seconds, but I HAVE AWESOME PANTS ON.

Oh, sry the pic sucks so much - some random girl took them and I stole them from her site.

EDIT: It was just pointed out to me, that this picture was taken when all of us were out already. Yeah, so uhhhh that sucked. Adam's not there b/c he's the only one still in the game.

Dodgebizzle

2005-05-19T17:00:00.000-04:00

Oh maaaaan...

Dodgeball Tournament today! Wish me luck b/c we're the Caucasian Invasion and we have a first round BYE, but then we have to play the team made up of starting varsity baseball players. And well we may not be the most athletic, or the best team, or even the most motivated team, or even the most dedicated team..... crap I forgot where I was going with this.

Ok, well I'm gonna go put on my stupid uniform - pajamapants tucked into my baseball socks, hightop chucks, wife beater and numerous headbands/armbands. (Photoshoot possible)

I rule.

Weekend Survivor

2005-05-15T19:51:00.000-04:00

Ahhhh, what a weekend. Friday night was crazy, thank you Adam and Daniel.

Saturday sucked though, b/c I had switched days at work with JP but my manager veto'd it - so I had to cancel my plans and go in. Then he informed me that I had to work on Sunday 12-7. That I was just so happy about, but I guess I needed the money.

Free frosty weekend... WOOOO.

O well, I'm gonna go watch the Survivor Finale, then Family Guy - then back to Survivor.

High Horse

2005-05-10T15:14:00.000-04:00

Hrmmmm, well I'm not gonna jump to conclusions so quickly next time - I reeeaaallly like the new Dave Matthews Band CD. I mean, it's a lot better then their older stuff. Ends the doubts I had about getting my ticket to see him on June 8th...

Race for the Cure this Saturday - NO FRIGGIN'' WAY AM I RUNNING 5K... but it's the thought that counts anyway. So, if anyone wants to join me on a 5K walk (no running, unless it's for food) hit me up or just meet me there on Saturday.

Not much else to say - found my old TFK CD and loaded it onto my iPizzle and I've been bouncing to that all day...

Venting

2005-05-08T21:36:00.000-04:00

Well, I need a place to get some feelings down, and well I guess this would be the place to do it.

People see me going to school and work and generally living life like I don't have any troubles - I'm always wanting to make people laugh, and I try not to show that I take things seriously. Well, I can say it. I'm scared. I don't know if a fact of my life is going to be constantly living with physical pain or insecurity about my health. I can't lay there and watch TV without thinking about what tomorrows gonna be like and how I'm gonna feel.

So, uhhhh don't really give any heeding to this post - I guess I'm just venting.

Papers

2005-05-04T01:08:00.000-04:00

Man, it's one oh eight in the friggin' morning and I am never putting off another essay again. Let alone 3... last day before interim grades are posted and man was I behind in English - 3 essays behind. So I'm up doing them all now. I'm done with 2.5 of them, but man what a stupid idea.

At least I have my faithful iPod next to me and I have it on shuffle and it's kinda fun listening to some of the random/older stuff that I don't often get a chance to listen to anymore.

WAIT! What the heck am I doing?! I really really should be typing my papers, not posting here... well, there's my priorities for ya.

Olly: HE GON' GET IT!

2005-05-02T17:16:00.000-04:00

Wow, so musically I've really been stuck in a rut. I mean, when I'm playing and when I'm listening. First of all, they asked me to play bass on Sunday Nights for the church, and I was like really massively honored, but I can't. My work schedule/health is too friggin'' unpredictable... I mean, for years (mostly freshman and sophomore) I dreamed of rockin'' out up there - but for now I can't. But hey, that's ok - when it happens (if it does) then I know that it was worth the wait. As well, in my listening choices, I'm running out of new stuff to listen to. I mean, the new music is really disappointing. The new Rob Thomas sucks (MB20 was much better), the new Dave Matthews is kinda lame and just stuff like that. But, I am getting back into the old stuff that I have from Reliant K, and Be My Escape is rather addicting - I've started all of my sessions on launch.com with them...

Got to get my hair cut today because it's getting to the point where maintenance is a pain. So, in the spirit of summer, prolly something short on the side and longer on top and I can gel it and all that crap.

As well, I have to go thrifting sometime soon because I haven't gone in a while... Oh well, I'll get it figured out... and listen to Existentialism on Prom Night by Straylight Run - it's high quality man.

Macro me up, Scotty.

2005-04-28T17:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, so uhhhhh I think I've officially fallen in love with The Killers. I mean, I knew how awesome they were before, but recently I just can't stop listening to them... That and I've fallen back into the Fall Out Boy craze of my summer past.

Found out that I have to have my HSLT app. in by May 1st or else it's a $50 application fee. Well, I don't quite have the cash right now so I'm gonna have to swallow the bigger fee.

I can't get out of my macro photography craze. Like, I think I'm addicted to it... although, I'm not sure if I can actually get addicted to that.

Weirdest thing happened to me at work last night. I sold this laptop to this girl and I was ringing her out, so I had to ask her for her phone number to enter into the register. Well, she gave it to me and was like, "You know if I give it to you, you'll have to call me sometime..." I was like, "Uhhhhhh..." and she said "What, I'm a nice girl - what's wrong with me? I know a great bar we could get a drink at..." So, I just kinda chuckled and was like, "Ummmm, I'm 17 years old. I'm a junior in high school." And she just looked at me, grabbed her laptop and left. I felt bad, but it was really funny.

Oh well, I'm gonna go take some more pictures.

One of them days...

2005-04-26T17:42:00.000-04:00

Augh, what a friggin' day. I'm slightly tired of school and people having general bad attitudes in general. If I have to put up with school being crappy, so do you - AND MINUS ALL THE WHINING!!! Ok, sorry. I'm in the complainish mood...

It's weird, I don't want to try to pass blame but I've been waaaay more irritable/confrontational in these last few weeks, and I think it's the meds. I'm on... I mean, I got into a near verbal confrontation with Mr. Samanich today, and that NEVER happened last year. I mean, I do want him to give me my deploma, but... Oh well, it's just weird. I'll get it figured out.

I'm really getting into this whole macro photography thing, I mean - it's super sweeeet.

Ta Ta for now...

Yay.

2005-04-25T16:13:00.000-04:00

Friggin' sweeeet. Brand new Halo 2 maps came out today, and how sweet they are. I'm gonna spend an extended amount of time this night experiencing those maps to their full potential.

As well, I made my first attempt at 'Macro Photography' and my attempt at it is here:

http://www.deviantart.com/view/17612816/

Hit me up lata...

/..\

2005-04-23T10:35:00.000-04:00

Hey, it's been a while.
Not much new.
Old cell broke.
New cell today.
Talking in fragments.
New pic for school. [LINK]

Nothing else for now.
10.4, good buddy!

....:::: EDIT ::::....
Got the new cell: 425.8779
Got the final edition of the school pic:
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y4/jstiffler/Self-Image.jpg

Life on a Stick

2005-04-20T21:45:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so today was aaaaawweeesssommmeee. I mean, school wasn't too crappy because like I'm understanding math, I guess that happens when you do your homework. Got some work done on my layout in Sandwich's class, aaannd it was taco snack day at lunch!

And, like 6 of us went to Mongolian BBQ after school, and it was GLORIOUS! I mean, who ever invented that friggin' place, needs to be given a hug.

Well I'm gonna go work on my friggin' ellipses for math class.

ROCK-IT

2005-04-19T18:31:00.000-04:00

Ok, well I have a not so origional idea. I'm gonna try to type this blog entry without using the backspace key, here goes.

Today wasn't that bad at all, I took some decongestant and that seemed to KO my throatache that made me wnat to shoot myself. So I could actually eat something. which was nice - nalthough slushies are much fun.

Wen t to Polaris with my brother and his girlfriend and got some shipping done. Got a sweet belt buckle that's a Fender gGuitar amp. As well as a thumb ring. As well, I stopped by the cold stone next to CiCi's And I had cheesecake ice recream with Heath bars and Recie Pecie's in it. Talk about glory on a spoon. Oh, and I did one of gthose $1 donation things and wronte my name nice and proud for all to see. So, chek it out and buy one of your orwn.

Well, the folks have been at the doctor's for a w long while now and im getting hunggery. So I think i'll be forced to eat a spicy chicken sandwich or possibly some talko bell.

Toodles

Insert Enthusiasm here...

2005-04-18T20:28:00.000-04:00

Well, today was uhhhhh....... today. Glad I made it through the day, but it gets old after the 30th person makes the same corny comment - 'You're not dead?!' Haha very funny, now let me get to my next class so I can wish for death.

My shirt came from Relevant today, can't wait to test it out tomorrow.

Well, I don't feel so peachy, so I'm gonna go watch some Antiques Roadshow with my folks.

Oh, I bought my Dave Matthew's tickets today! WOOT.

Friggin' sweet concert

2005-04-17T18:01:00.000-04:00

Oh boy, what a last few days it was.

Well, I made the decision to attend the Hawthorne Heights, Unwritten Law & Sum 41 concert last night, and I'm really glad that I did. I mean, I got some awesome chillin' time with Colin and Shayne and I got to see my favorite band in person. Hawthorne Heights was sweet and they sound live just like they do on their CD, that I was surprised about. Unwritten Law just wasn't my bag of potatoes, if ya get my drift. I mean, they sounded good but they were a little odd. But Sum 41 was just amazing. Simply amazing. I mean, I've worshiped Cone (the bass player) musically for the last 4 years, and he def. didn't let me down. As well, Dave - the friggin awesome brown guitar player - was just tearing it up. I mean, how cool is this: between EVERY SONG he'd change guitars, and they played like a 1 hour set. He must've used like 20 different guitars. And when he'd solo, it would the place would just go nuts. By far, it was an awesome time and I'm glad I went.

The shirt I ordered from Relevant hasn't gotten here yet, but I'm hoping that it gets here tomorrow. And I'm gonna try to venture to school on Monday, I'm so far behind. It'll take me like a month to friggin' catch up, but I'm ok with that. But for now, I think I'm just gonna chill on the computer for a bit and then try to get to bed early for tomorrow.

Feels like anemia

2005-04-15T20:57:00.000-04:00

Oh man, what a day. I woke up today and went to stand up so I could use the facilities, the head - if you will... and uhhh my legs kinda gave out on me. So, that was just like a bad omen for the rest of this day. I mean, I feel like complete bovine fecal matter. I'm incredibly light headed and I keep getting the shakes (and not the good Caramel Turtle Nut kind, either). So, I haven't had the energy to even pick up my laptop until now, but hopefully tomorrow will be better for me.

Watched some Relient K videos today, and man - they've really grown up in these last few years. As well, the video for the new Seether song is really creepy, I hate scary rides at the fair. Still don't know if I'm gonna go to the Hawthorne Heights concert tomorrow... I've had the tickets for like 2 months, but I don't want to permanently screw my health over. I'll make that decision tomorrow, but it's looking like a big NO.

But my folks finally left for a time today and I snuck and took a shower. It feels so good to be clean again...

HAHAHAHAHAHA there was just this awesome Geico commercial featuring Speed Racer. How awesome.

Ooooh. Since I've been incredibly bored recently, I've found some funny crap on the web. Check this out.

Man, one more day behind me...

2005-04-14T21:57:00.000-04:00

Man, today just made me realize that it's not just all crap out there all the time. I mean, living for the conversations I'll never remember with the friends that I'll never forget. Long, but good night.

www.savetoby.com Wow, ummmm I don't know about all of this, but it is a good idea. He has made $20,000...

Can't wait to get out of bed, although my friends rule. Mad props to Colin for chillin' with me in my room for like 4 hours doing not much of anything. And Natalie, that Chipotle honestly saved my life. If I would've eaten Pop-Tarts again, something would've been physically damaged.

I'm getting these weird shake things where I loose control of my hands for a few seconds, but I think it's just a side effect. I'll get it figured out.

Day Three

2005-04-14T12:40:00.000-04:00

Well, I woke up about 4 hours ago, but I am just now coherent.

Thank you Natalie. She's so on her way over with some Chipotle for me to devour. All I've had for the last few days are pop tarts and crap, so she is truely hooking me up with a favor.

I've worked on that interface design some more tell me what you think.
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y4/jstiffler/bg.jpg

Although, I didn't want to make the company name black, it was white but he told me that he wanted it to stick out some more. Whatever it's his site...

Oh No, Mr. Kool-Aid Man...

2005-04-14T09:44:00.000-04:00

Hrmmmmm...

Who calls at 9:30 in the AM? I mean honestly, I just wanna go back to my dream of baking pies in the Andes Mountains.

Someone should be shot.

13

2005-04-13T22:17:00.000-04:00

Well, today wasn't all that bad... I mean, I got some work done on this guys website and I chatted my butt off online, but I'm still here. I think I've been online for like 13 straight hours, that's crazy man.

I've played so much Halo, I can't stand to look Master Chief in the face for one more minute.

Also, I think I've watched every friggin video on launch.com and almost my entire iPod as well. Time to discover some new music. And I guess I could write a little, I mean I haven't written like a poem type thing since 9th grade.

I bought my shirt supporting Relevant Magazine today. It's plain, but I think it's sweet... Check it.

Well, I'll be right back here tomorrow...

Boom Stick

2005-04-13T11:53:00.000-04:00

Wow, so this is gonna be my life for the next 2 weeks... Yeah so I went to ER the other day because my headache was so massively intense and this is what they told me: The doctor screwed up my spinal tap and now I have to be bed ridden for the next 2 weeks. Talk about suck. It's day one and I think that I've already surfed the entire internet on my laptop, played too much Halo to mention and read the newest installment of the Left Behind Series. So, if anyone has any ideas or wants to visit, hit me up - I'll be here, I have to be.

I had to call Circuit City to tell them that I can't work for a while because I'm stuck in bed and they didn't seem too happy... I mean, they worked with my earlier when I was off the schedule for like 5 weeks, but the manager was really vague and not giving me the best attitude. So, let's hope they don't fire me because I definitely need the cash. Maybe I could transfer back to Easton or something.

In other news, I think the lead singer from Matchbook Romance suffers from male pattern baldness. How queer.

Yeouch

2005-04-10T17:55:00.000-04:00

If anyone here has ever had a migrane... I FEEL YOUR PAIN. Ok, so the spinal tap itself wasn't bad, I mean it hurt - but it wasn't that bad; until now... I have never felt a pain in my head as I do with my headache right now. Like I'm seein' spots and it feels like someone just has it in a friggin' vice. Apparently, after they sucked out my spinal fluid, my brain isn't cushioned against my skull until it makes some more. That means that my brain is like playing bumper cars with my skull... Kinda freaky. It feels like I'm on the recieving end of this:

Wish I coulda gone to church today but I had to get another MRI and lemmie tell you what. Those characters at the OSU Hospital are a jolly crew. It was 6 am and I'm wishing for death and they're all cheery like it's 3 pm. Well, they did help me get into a better mood. So, I guess I do like those guys.

But yesterday was fun, practiced with the band on one of our songs that we need to record soon. And it made me realize that bass players are by far the coolest people in the band.

Then had Steak 'n' Shake!

Now I'm gonna go lay in a quiet, dark room.

Who dat is?

2005-04-06T22:18:00.000-04:00

Well, it's the ominous day before the spinal tap and I'm slightly worried. I hope they like don't draw out too much or something... I don't know, I don't really trust the doctors - but that's just a personal weird thing.

Got some awesome Death Cab for Cutie songs on my iPod today, and I can't wait to go up to my room to listen to them. I'm really getting into softer music, especially because I can't sleep at night. And I'm not ashamed to say that I like Harry Potter. I now offically have all 3 DVD's, and I think that I'm still cool.

Oh and here's the thought for tonight:

The main flaw in the Enterprise vs. Death Star Argument:

Kirk: "Uhura, open hailing frequencies."
Uhura: "We have signal, Captain."
Kirk: "Onscreen. This is Captain James T. Kirk of the FederaHRRRRRRKK!!!"
Vader: *ominous breathing*
Kirk: *chokes and collapses on the deck*

As per Sam, that is.

Math Quiz

2005-04-05T08:31:00.000-04:00

I'm not ashamed...

Large Blunt Object

2005-04-04T21:38:00.000-04:00

I'm disappointed in myself. My camera is outsmarting me. I had an incredibly hard math test today, so I uhhh.... wrote some key review items on my hand so I could uhhhhh..... review during the test. I wanted to show you a picture of it, but my camera is being semi-retarded.

I'm in this funk where I have most all of my iPod filled with music, but I'm not really in the mood to listen to any of it... I need new music suggestions. Any ideas?

New google-ized icon that I made when I was bored in Sandwich's class.
I need sleep. I may hit myself with a large blunt object.

Jank

2005-04-04T09:30:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so getting back in the whole grove of school is a complete and udder suckfest. I finally fell asleep last night at 3am and had to drag myself out of bed at 6. So I think tonight I'll just hit myself over the head with a friggin 2 by 4. Or go get some over the counter sleeping pills until I can get back on track.

So Saminich is over there talking about who gives a crap, and I'm trying to bash my head thru this desk so I can sleep. He's tweening an animation, and I think that today is 'jank' and/or 'janked'...

Chilled with Justin yesterday and we were gonna go putt-putt, but we cancelled that and then we were gonna get some Chinese food but the bank was closed so I couldn't get any money. So we decided to just chill in my room for a while. Listening to music and things of that nature.

Well since Samanich is still talking about .swf files, maybe I should pay attention.

Gooooooooogle

2005-04-03T12:17:00.000-04:00

Ok, so if you didn't know, I'm kind of obsessed with everything Google (thank you Mr. Micah T. Vorst) and I found this template that turns my blog into Google! How friggin' awesome is that? And like everything works just like it were Google - the search, the links everything...

The Pope died yesterday and he'll be missed, he did alot of work for the good of mankind and there will be no other like him. Now let's just hope that the new Pope isn't the Anti-Christ or something like that.

I feel that I need to post a picture in here just to make it slightly more interesting, so here you go:


 Ryan Cabrera fan right here, partner! (No, I'm just kidding! Honestly!)

2005-04-02T15:03:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I officially need to get my biological clock reset. I'm in this weird drag where I can't get to bed until like 4am and then I sleep until like 2pm; and when I wake up I still feel like I could sleep for days. Does anyone have a remedy to my problem? I would, quite possibly, be your best friend forever... or as girls from California put it: We'llzz be BFF!!! LOL!!!

So, uh, I found out that tomorrow I have to go get my like 8th MRI and on this Thursday I get the highlight of my day to be a spinal tap. I've watched too many episodes of ER and it definitely looks like it's a very painful procedure. But I do get to miss a day of school, for which I am very grateful.

Well, I have yet to do anything (no exaggeration, not ONE thing) this spring break, so I've gotta find something to do tonight.

The classic seatbelt question...

2005-03-30T22:04:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I got the new Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory and it's sweet. The online co-op missions are awesome and you can do all sorts of sweet stuff. Like throwing your partner at another person to break their back, or hanging from a rafter so you can reach down and snap someone's neck. It's an awesome game.

Spring break has been really uneventful so far this year. Alotta friends are outta town and I got nothing to do but work. As well, I won't be able to make it to the retreat this weekend because of work and I'm gonna be bored as all get out. So, if you wanna chill (possibly a CiCi's Friday) hit me up and we'll work something out.

Oh and a weird thought for today: I know that Catholics are against birth control because it interferes with God's plan for what's gonna happen to them (such as an unexpected pregnancy). Does that mean that they can't wear seatbelts either?

The most that I can do for you is keep on lying...

2005-03-26T23:40:00.000-05:00

Title is a line from Let it Bleed ~ The Used. Good song.

Man, it's been a few days but not much has changed. I'm excited for spring break, although I have a lot of responsibilities to handle before I can have any real fun. I hate having to be all grow up like and stuff... :)

Rahahahaha.
I'm watching the RedGreen Show and he just made a distillery out of a washing machine. What a classic show. I love PBS...

Oh, Louisville came back from a 20 point deficit to win in overtime. I'm so glad I let Samanich talk me into putting them in my Final Four. I could use to win the pool tho, I'm the definition of uber-broke right now.

Xanga is for losers...

2005-03-24T19:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I saw the specialist today but it got nothing accomplished. All he did was order a spinal tap, more blood tests and another MRI, but oh well. There's nothing I can do...


The iPod is FAR SUPERIOR to the lowly iRiver. Eat that Nick...


Well Derek, when a man loves a woman...

Little Giants

2005-03-22T20:37:00.000-05:00

Wow, today was different. Had a few rough realizations, but then went to Olive Garden w/ my brother, his g/f and Colin. I had chicken marsala for the 30th time in a row... But the cheese dipping sauce was flippin' awesome.

For all of you that use that nonsense AIM, there must be a better way. It was treasoning me today when I was trying to hold a conversation w/ Kelly. So I'm gonna "Annex it's Puerto Rico" if you get my drift... Who can help me convert?

Oh, btw: watch this and support our troops...

2005-03-21T21:43:00.000-05:00

Wow, I never knew how good it felt to do things for other people. I mean, today I tried to help out others on little things as much as possible and it felt awesome. The best thing was teaching my Dad how to reserve books at the library from the computer - yea he's not the best with the internet.

Time for random thought typing:

School was nothing special, glad for the shortened week tho.
Don't know if I'll go to prom yet.
Think I got a 2/50 on my math test today, no lie.
I have so many English assignments to catch up on, and I'm tired.
Just got into a band called MAE because they're softer and help me sleep.
I need a snackpack...

Where is your boy tonight?

2005-03-21T09:14:00.000-05:00

Chillin' in Samanich's class like it's my job.

Today's not that crappy but I hate having full periods, I miss the little 20 min deals. I need to get my head back in the game, I'm too distracted by stuff that I should just leave to get solved eventually. I need to try to concentrate on school, work & my friends. I wish I was ADD so I could have an excuse for this, but I'm not so whatever...

I see the M.S. specialist on Thursday and I'm kinda freaked out, I mean - if it turns out that I have it, then I've got some serious stuff that I need to work out. I thought that it was bad to be distracted by girls, but a potentially life threatening condition is another can of worms all together.

Oh well, I'll figure it out...

.com Miracle

2005-03-20T21:39:00.000-05:00

Wow, girls are the most confusing thing on the face of this big green ball of crap. I haven't made any progress as far as me and the girl by actually talking to her, but I got some awesome council that is making me think through this and see how I want to bust this all out. I just don't know what I'm going to do yet, but it'll take some time. I mean why couldn't it be that girls have to do the initiation of a possible date or something... I mean, I fine w/ paying for stuff but I hate having to ask a girl on a date. It's the scariest thing that a guy will ever have to go thru, and I mean that EVER. I'd rather go to war...

But, this girl just like makes me want to be a better person, like she makes me want to raise the bar for my life and make it all worth while. I mean, I like set a standard for her that I want to try to live up to myself; she makes me want to be a better person when I'm around her and when I'm not. And she doesn't even know it...

Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Dance, White Boy, Dance!

2005-03-20T15:49:00.000-05:00

Rahahahahaha.

Check this out.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/dancewhiteboy.html

Need a 9mm to go with those bullets?

2005-03-19T02:25:00.000-05:00

Wow, there's alot of things that are going on now, and that's not nessiscarily bad... so I'll use a bullet list to pop them off.

First of all, I go and see the Multiple Sclerosis specialist pretty soon and he'll be able to tell me if I offically have a screw loose upstairs. I guess it has the possiblity of being a really sad/depressing time, but I just want to know what the heck is going on with my body.

Second, I can't wait for April 16 because I get to see Sum 41 and Hawthore Heights in concert at the Promowest Pavillion. That's gonna be sweet b/c I heard Sum 41 is SWEET in concert.

Third, ok this is gonna be weird to explain but I need anyone's advice that reads this thing. There's this girl. Yeah, it's one of those problems. I want to ask her to prom, but we really don't know each other very well at all. But I just really really want to ask her to go, but I'm really bad not w/ rejection but like the possibility of rejection always scares me off. See, I can handle to be rejected easily, but I'm always afraid of it for some reason. So, is this just an issue where I need more guts, or should I talk to the girl about it? WHAT DO I DO?! I suck w/ the whole women thing...

While I was at CiCi's yesterday, Obidah from RadioU showed up and was like eating pizza with some of the RaidoU people. I introduced myself and had a little chit chat and then went back to eating my pizza, a job well done. And Kelly missed them by like 5 minutes.

Well, if you read this thing, comment or IM me because I'm confused and such.

10-4, Good Buddy.

It seemed like days...

2005-03-17T18:53:00.000-05:00

Well Colin and I spent the better part of 2 hours thinking of new names for the band. I think we finally came to a conclusion; we're gonna ask the other guys about Before We Forget. Tell me what you think, because I think its cool.

And we named our first CD. It's gonna be called Me and My Plastic Jesus, and we're gonna have a picture of a bobble head Jesus on the dashboard of his car.

Thoughts?

Sidewalks

2005-03-16T21:29:00.000-05:00

So uhhh my days are getting slightly more interesting. I can wait until this week gets over because then all my classes will be the normal length. I found out today that Westerville Central changed how they restrict the internet at school, well they changed it from local restrictions to proxy side server restrictions, and they had only had it in 2 hours when I got on a computer and found out how to get around the proxy server, change it to a remote anonymous server and use Opera to browse. So there's unrestricted internet now, but I may get suspended b/c Samanich said that he wasn't putting up w/ my crap screwing w/ the server anymore, but I just need unrestricted internet at school.

It's kinda like a game I play. They block the server, I figure a way around it.

Me vs. WCHS tech guy, but I think he's a sore looser...

Legs? Who needs 'em?

2005-03-14T21:45:00.000-05:00

Today was the definition of SUCK but not quite SUPER SUCK... I mean, school was really short and I love 20 minute periods b/c that means math hell is only like math pergatory, or something like that. But I've felt like trash the entire day and I can't wait to get healthy again.

Got Saturday off so I can go to the dinner for the guys and ummm thats good, but I wanna be thrown in front of a bus right now, so I'm gonna go sleep.

Your pretty sick there Chubbs....

I KNOW.

It's That Time

2005-03-12T19:10:00.000-05:00

Well you can't really have a blog w/o doing one of these things. I stole it from Nat...

Age:: 17
Height:: 6'2"
hair colour:: black
Eye colour:: brown
Number of siblings:: 1, Tim
Glasses/contacts?:: Glasses
Piercings:: Want one
Tattoos:: Want one
Braces?:: Nope

FAVOURITE
Color:: Ummm, I'm a black and blue fan, but you know, not together
Band:: SUM 41
Song:: Helena - My Chemical Romance
Stuffed animal:: Buddy my stuffed Koala
Video game:: Halo 2 - There is none other
TV show:: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Movie:: Tommyboy!
Book:: Uhhh a friggin' ton
Food:: Grilled Chicken Ceaser Salad
Game on a cell phone:: Blackjack
CD cover:: Green Day
Flower:: ummm Roses?
Scent:: Adidas Moves
Animal:: Flippin Koalas
Comic book:: hmm…don’t know any
Cereal:: Smaks
Website:: Ummmm this?
Cartoon:: Family Guy

DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: Sea Bass
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: no
Like to sing?:: Flippin No
Have a job?:: Circuit City
Have a cell phone?:: Yessa Massa
Like to play sports?:: With Friends
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: Nope
Have a crush on someone?:: hmmm whats that shiny object over there....?
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: nope
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: 3
Have any special talents/skills?:: i can move my ears
Excercise daily?:: yeah right
Like school?:: actually, not its that bad this year

CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: Flippin No
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: yep, but not for long
Speak any other languages?:: I butcher spoonish
Go a day without food?:: No chance
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: Yeap
Read music, not just tabs?:: I'm a tabs man
Roll your tongue?:: yessa
Eat a whole pizza?:: if it was a good pizza

HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: yes
Cried to get out of trouble?:: who hasn't?
Gotten lost in your city?:: Where's the bathroom
Seen a shooting star?:: Nope
Been to any other countries besides the United States?:: Canada!
Had a serious surgery?:: Nope
Stolen something important to someone else?:: Do candy bars count?
Solved a rubiks cube?:: I hate those things
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: I dont wear pajamas, i sleep in what ever i wore that day, lol
Cried over a girl?:: kinda
Cried over a boy?:: well ummm no i dont think
Hugged a random stranger?:: IM STRONG LIKE HULK, MY SHOES HURT
Been in a fist fight?:: multiple times
Been arrested?:: I WAS DETAINED!!! JUST DROP IT OK?!
Done drugs?:: no sir
Had alcohol?:: yes sir
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: Yeah, how lame?
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: Not milk, but basically everything else
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: Back in like 2nd grade
Swore at your parents?:: yes
Been to warped tour?:: Yessa
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: Yep, i've even done it to myself
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: FLIPPIN GOOSE
Broken a bone?:: same thumb twice
Gotten stitches?:: nope
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: nope
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: the gallon challange is impossible
Made homemade muffins?:: no, i love to cook but i hate to bake
Bitten someone?:: Yep, my brother and my friends dog
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: Nope
Been to niagra falls?:: Yep, back in the day
Burped in someones face?:: I do it to my bro's g/f all the time
Gotten the chicken pox?:: Yep, it sucked i missed my cousin's bday

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: this morning
Went to the bathroom:: constantly for the last 3 days, flippin flu
Saw a movie in theaters:: Coach Carter w/ my uncle
Read a book:: today, about music censorship in America
Had a snow day:: Not in a long time
Had a party:: There's not enough room in this shack
Had a slumber party:: lol, colin spent the night a while ago
Made fun of someone:: Every flippin day
Tripped in front of someone:: Tripped up the stairs
Went to the grocery store:: Every Saturday
Got sick:: RIGHT FLIPPIN NOW
Cursed:: pretty much daily

PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:: fruit
Black/white:: black
Lights on/lights off:: on
TV/movie::movie
Car/truck:: car
Body spray/lotion:: hahahahaha
Cash/check:: cash
Pillows/blankets:: blankets
Headache/stomachache:: Headache, b/c you can take pills for that
Paint/charcoal:: They Both suck, go Photoshop
Chinese food/mexican food:: Chinese food GO CHINA GARDEN
Summer/winter:: summer
Snow/rain::Flippin snow
Fog/mist:: Fogggg
Rock/rap:: rock by far
Meat/vegetarian:: I NEED MEAT
Boy/girl:: ummm i prefer girls
Chocolate/vanilla:: depends
Sprinkles/icing:: depends
Cake/pie:: ice cream cake
French toast/french fries:: French Fries
Strawberries/blueberries:: strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: Pool, ocean water sucks
Hugs/kisses:: depends who from
Cookies/muffins:: cookies
Wallet/Pocket:: wallet
Window/door:: window
Emo/goth:: emo
Pink/purple:: pink
Cat/dog:: dog dog dog dog
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: short
Pants/shorts:: pantalones
Winter break/spring break:: WINTER BREAK
Spring/autumn:: spring
Clouds/clear sky:: clear sky
Moon/mars:: moon

FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:: lots
What are their names?:: not trying
Do you have a best friend?:: Colin, Shayne, Adam, Derek
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: yes, but it was a GIRL
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: 'bout even
Have you ever lost a friend?:: yes
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: Nope, never even been to one
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: E CA HI
Have you ever gotten in a big argument with a friend?:: yep
Whats the nicest thing you've ever done for a friend?:: wow, ummm held them up when they were pukin, lol
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: too much crap to go over
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: of course
What friend have you known the longest?:: ummmm wow idk
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?:: yepp yepp
How often do you spend time with your friends?:: less then i'd like
Do any of your friends drive?:: most all
Has a friend of yours ever died?:: nope
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?:: Colin.... Shayne, you remember that video? and Adam, you remember going through wendey's drive thru and kfc?
What do you think your friends think of you?:: You guys tell me

LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Are you single?:: Yessa
Are you in a relationship?:: Doesn't above answer that?
What is your idea of the best date?:: nice dinner and going to the park or something
Do you think love is a load of shit?:: not usually
Whats the best experience youve ever had with the opposite sex?:: hahahaha
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?:: yep
Have you ever been dumped?:: yep
Have you ever dumped someone?:: yep
Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?:: ive seen a girl walking down the street before

WORD ASSOCIATIONS
lippers:: what the?
Hat:: hair
Hard:: linworth
Free:: Kazaa
Space:: Case
Taste:: leg?
Good charlotte:: Sellout
Red:: Bull
Deep:: blue sea
Heart:: burn
Cord:: camera
Cheese:: head
Rain:: delay
Work:: crap
Pedal:: bike
Head:: case
Bed:: Koep
Fluff:: Koep
Hardcore:: Koep
Race:: the amazing
Knife:: stab
Jump:: off
I....am:: sick
want:: rest
need:: rest
completely crave:: to not feel like crap
love:: friends
hate:: loud black girls
did:: poop
feel:: like crap
miss:: concerts
am annoyed by:: richard simmons, loud black girls
would rather:: feel better
am tired of:: feeling like crap
will always:: have 2 legs

SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: punk, by far
What time is it now?:: 7:57pm
What day is it?:: saturday
Whens the last time you called someone?:: today, my boss
How much money do you have right now?:: Flippin None
Are you hungry?:: nope
Whatcha doin?:: Taking friggin quiz
Do you like parades?:: Not really
Do you like the moon?:: yep
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: rest
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: MY SHOES HURT
If you could have any magical yepp
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: in gym class
What about sock em boppers?:: what the crap is that?
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: nada

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
Funny?:: yep
pretty?:: a flippin beauty queen
sarcastic?:: yes
lazy?:: yes
hyper?:: dont think so
friendly?:: yep
evil?:: nope
smart?:: hahahahaha
strong?:: like hulk
talented?:: uhhh i guess
dorky?:: Yep

ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)
high:: adam
skip:: ???
dance:: none
lonely:: bleh
pen:: this is dumb
flower:: my mom
far:: your mom
window:: our mom
psycho:: everyones mom
brain freeze:: george bush's mom
orange:: richard simmons' mom

WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: yeah
Play strip poker?:: i do by myself
Run away?:: ok
Curse at a teacher?:: been there done that
Not take a shower for a week?:: already did
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: sure
Go scuba diving?:: sure
Write a book?:: no way
Become a rockstar?:: working on it

LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: my mom's
What kind of computer do you have?:: a super duper one
What grade are you in?:: junior
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: sometimes
Or just make out?:: w/ myself
How many posters do you have in your room?:: numerous
How many cds do you have?: tons
What time is it now? 8:02 pm
What time did u start? like 7
How gay was this? TIRED TIRED TIRED TIRED

Another Friday Night

2005-03-11T20:28:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I feel like crap. It's Friday night and I'm stuck at home because I feel like I've been hit by a bus. But my parents still think that I'm healthy enough to do crap around the house for them. Oh well, at least I got today off work.

And I remembered that I have a staff meeting at 9am on Sunday, talk about suckfest.

meeeeeooow...... BAM

2005-03-10T19:49:00.000-05:00

Well this guys is finally saying what everyone else is thinking...

http://www.kstp.com/article/stories/S6816.html

I hate cats.

We should extend this to Richard Simmons and loud black girls too.

I can't feel my legs...

2005-03-10T12:38:00.000-05:00

Augh, school is one of the many experiences in life that I can't wait to forget. I mean, there are a bunch of cool things that I get out of it, like friends, weird experiences and this awesome list that I can use to get anyone's personal information... but after all of that; putting up with Spanish and math class make me want to throw myself in front of a bus.

I can't wait till next year. Only 3 classes.

And then I'll have to tackle the idea of college... Well maybe next year can wait.

A Samurai Suicide

2005-03-09T21:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, so now I see why Samurai committed suicide... THEY HAD THE FLU AND STILL HAD TO GO TO WORK! I feel their pain... Work sucked, and I know Circuit City is an easy job, but the only job I would take right now is well.... uh getting paid to sleep.

People suck. Well at least old ladies that come in and want you to install XP on their ancient computer systems.

Somebody shoot me.

Ever wanted to fly?

2005-03-09T11:03:00.000-05:00

Well, this would be take two. Second time that I've made a blog in the last 3 years. The last one was a struggling infant that barely made it out of infancy; only to be hit head on by the Mack Truck of life. Let's hope that this can actually make it somewhere.

It's day three of Stiffy vs. THE FLU and I think that I'm finally winning. I feel better, albeit I'm still really congested, but I can't get perfect in one day. I saw my family doctor yesterday, and they're referring me to a Multiple Sclerosis specialist. I'm kinda freaked out about possibly having that, but if I do - then I'll just deal with it. Plus, there's got to be a purpose to it. I'm just not looking forward to the possible loss of limb use and all that crap. Oh well...

Ta Ta for now...